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My heart owns a doubt.

Whether 'tis in us to arise with day.

...she's bad.

Peep-Billie glows.



Skipped Back 25

December 3rd, 2012

Bad weather on the line getting between me and mine
I think he's mad at me and it's only a matter of time
My baby's all ready for the heat but I'm not so ready for the burn
So crackle away as he tries to explain that our weather has taken a turn

Summer is fine blues skies are divine but don't keep the clouds at bay
Bad weather will keep us together if only in a cloudy way

Your rattle is melody and drive, sweeter than honey to my ear
Oh don't disappear lay away without fear and then maybe we'll call it a day
Baby's patient but running out of time and I’m running right out of tears
Oh you can be sure we'd be crying much more if your rattle wasn't all I could hear

Summer is swell, high corn and bluebell but I won't bid the rain good day
Bad weather is oh so much better than having the blues to stay

I do not need no barometer to read what conditions we have in store
Bad weather be a friend and let me pretend he loves me again as before

December 2nd, 2012

Scandal pretty much blew my mind on Thursday. I watch it with my Nana because she loves Shonda and because I enjoy Shonda when she's not being inconsistant and repetitive and well...during the last five minutes? She screamed. I screamed. We screamed. (I don't want to spoil anyone who's not seen it.) Damn you, Shonda. DAMN YOU. (I also am fighting the urge to catch up on Grey's Anatomy. Someone tell me, is it good again? Is it?!)

I'm pretty angry at my cable box for lying to me and telling me that Haven wasn't new on Friday when it WAS. I like to watch Haven live and now I have to hunt it down. Bad play, cable. Bad play.

I'm up to season six of The X-Files, arguably the best season. My hatred for Diana Fowley knows no bounds. Literally, as I am watching, every few minutes I'm texting my bestie comeon_eileen reiterating how much I hate her. It's my shipper heart. It grows teeth and wants to eat her.

Tumblr pretties (X-Files, Vampire Diaries, and The Avengers)Collapse )

I am also in the middle of writing a TVD drabble. Caroline/Klaus, naturally. XD

Real life news:

I am apparently irresistible. I had a stalker briefly on Facebook (but hopefully I have shut that down, only time will tell). Those of you who friended me over there prolly saw it. The guy who kept commenting on my wall asking me out and telling me I'm pretty? Even though I told him I didn't want to date him in REAL LIFE before he friended me on Facebook. I was like "Are you trying to publicly shame me into going out with you? Won't work. I don't experience shame." Then I had it happen AGAIN with another guy! I knew him from when I worked at Target so when he friended me I was like *shrugs* and he immediately started private messaging me and talking about hanging out. *head/desk* No one seems to understand that I am a solitary person. I don't want to hang out with other people. My innate distrust of people (and men in particular) had evolved into a sort of avid dislike of 'hanging out'. I'd rather be focused on doing something that needs to be done or making my own choices about what I'm going to do. I hate compromising or considering other people when I'm looking to do something for fun. I want to go to the museum? I'm going. When I want to go? When I want to. What am I going to see? What I want to. LOL.

Also, in a particularly funny bit of...well not irony, more like comeuppance...I don't think any of you will remember Kyah (mentioned here and here), but she was my friend when I worked at Target. We did alot of stuff together and I was her ride to and from work and we had huge falling out after I left Target and couldn't do those things for her anymore (and Nana chose that time to be like "I never liked her, she was just using you"). Anyways, I ran into a former coworker from Target who informed me that Kyah is now back in jail. LOL. I laugh because I knew she'd been arrested, I didn't know she'd gone back to jail. It was for writing bad checks, of all things (since in my job I regularly catch things like that). That's karma, baby. KARMA.

November 25th, 2012

It's so intense that sometimes it's blinding.
-Dana Scully

In honor of my marathon of The X-Files (season five and counting!), I redid my LJ. We now worship at the altar of Gillian Anderson.

November 24th, 2012

*cough* *sniffle*

Peep-Billie howls.
I feel icky, and I don't have any sick leave left so I'm just going to have to work through it. It's not too bad. I had a sore throat (and that was my only symptom) for two days, and now as that is going away...sniffles! My sinuses are running like a faucet and now I'm coughing too. Usually I like to just pull back my sinuses unti I get a head rush but this is so bad I'm having to actually blow my nose! I hate that.

I made a couple of pretties for Tumblr, though. Doctor Who and Once Upon a Time.

Tumblr is addictive.Collapse )

I'm also writing again.

So, yeah, trying to get back to my creative spirit. It's coming...taking it's time, but it's coming.

November 19th, 2012


Peep-Billie glows.
I'm doing that thing where I know I'm freaking out over nothing but I can't seem to stop myself.

November 13th, 2012

*shiny politics*

Bedlam-Oh Jed I miss you.
“Wars are not fought for territory, but for words. Man’s deadliest weapon is language. He is as susceptible to being hypnotized by slogans as he is to infectious diseases. And where there is an epidemic, the group mind takes over.”
-Arthur Koestler

November 11th, 2012


Peep-Billie howls.
I am watching Up for the first time.

I am absolutely devastated.

It took Disney 12 minutes to make me cry. New record.

November 3rd, 2012

There aren't a lot of new shows this season that are really catching my eye.

Right now the only two I'm really watching are The Mindy Project and Elementary. I refuse to try anything on the CW (because my only Green Arrow is Justin Hartley...and nothing else looks good to me). Mostly I'm watching the new seasons of stuff that's already been on. Revenge continues to be soapy and amazing, Haven is oddly depressing this year (though I'm loving the uptick in strong female characters), Vampire Diaries continues to be addictive, and Scandal is fantastic (though Shonda continues to worry me because her productions tend to be so uneven, the best of the best at times and the worst of the worst at others). Once Upon A Time is treading a very thin line for me...I'm just not sure how I feel! Some parts of it I'm really liking (the evolution of the characters, the way they interact now) and others...(Dr. Whale? I mean...seriously? Did not like that 'twist'.) Right now, I'm still watching...but you're on notice OUAT. YOU'RE ON NOTICE.


I made a pretty for tumblr!

ETA: Am now the proud owner of Sarah Slean's "The Baroness" album. If you've never listened to her, she has these amazing lyrics and blues-y melodies that are mesmerizing. Her dual-album "Land and Sea" is next on my to-own list.

November 1st, 2012

As certain dark things...

Peep-Billie glows.
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

"Sonnet XVII", Pablo Neruda

October 30th, 2012

Mulder? Fox Mulder?

Peep-Billie glows.
I accidentally caught The X-Files movie on tv (the first one), and now I can't resist marathoning the series on Netflix.

I'm halfway through the second season.


This show really stands up to the test of time. The clothing may be outdated, but the chemistry they have is phenomenal. HOW DID THEY GO SEVEN YEARS WITHOUT GETTING IT ON? I WANNA POUNCE MULDER IN EPISODE ONE. (And they are NOT subtle with their attractions, LOL. The obviousness is part of the fun, though.)

October 18th, 2012


Peep-Billie glows.
Oh, Vampire Diaries. Stop playing my emotions. Please? I can't take the back and forth! (Lie. I love it.)

*waves to F-List* I have been in a poetry mood lately, and so...for those that do not have me on Facebook (or tumblr)...

-Edgar Allen Poe

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

October 8th, 2012


Peep-Billie glows.
I did not have a good day at work today.

I just...I hate bad training. I like clearcut training guides with a step by step layout of the information that needs to be taught. As a result of my own haphazard training, I didn't know something that I was supposed to know. And because of that, one of our customers cleaned out their account and we're left holding the debt for their garnishment. Specifically, I am. So I am now on probation. If I have another loss like this (in the next six months), then I'm going to be terminated. Just my luck I work at one of the few banks that imposes losses on tellers like this. The joys of working for a 'family-owned' bank.

I can't tell if I'm angry or sad.

No, lie, I'm angry. A little at myself and a little more at the place I work.

On top of that?

They're sending me to Kansas City later this month for training. They want ME to train new employees. I'm literally like: O_O

Just...really? This is why we have so many problems. This is why we have such high turnover for tellers. I've been there eight months and I have the most seniority of tellers at my branch. *shakes head*

October 7th, 2012


Doctor Who-colors of the rainbow.
I wrote Avengers fic (Clint and Natasha, naturally). Anyone interested in giving it a read over for me? My bestie says I did okay with characterization, but I'm still not entirely happy. It's not really long, only maybe 1500 words.

October 2nd, 2012

I have The XX's new album. *happy*

I have Animal Kingdom's new album. *smile*

I have Julia Stone's new album. *dance*

Can you tell I am in music heaven?

Too much good music in too short a time. My head will surely explode.

And it's Fall! That means new tv seasons! (And I finally finished some of their last seasons that I never finished. Yes, I'm looking at you Lost Girl and Once Upon A Time.)

Flash judgment: I am in love with The Mindy Project. Elementary was nice, I didn't really think it was spectacular. I'm not really interested in any of the other new shows. I'm trying to scrounge up enough interest to watch Revolution.

I saw Looper in the theatre a few days ago, and...

I don't want to be a Joseph Gordan Levitt fan, but...I like him. XD

I will never go near his "fandom" though. His fans are crazy. Consider me a closer JGL fan.

And how are you, LJ?

September 6th, 2012

Lit a fire for you...

Peep-Billie howls.

I nearly died inside for you, I lit a fire inside for you
Feed the flame and cook me through and through
With the touch I'm alive with lust
And if it's do or die well then I must
The only question lies how much for the touch

*bliss* Cathy Davey, ladies and gentlemen. The Nameless. I actually paid for this album. That should tell you how highly I think of this artist and her unusual music. She's glorious. This particular track is one of the sexiest songs I've heard in a while. You can hear the rest of them here. I'm particularly fond of "In He Comes" and "Army of Tears".

September 2nd, 2012

Not mad. At all.

Peep-Troian in red.
I saw Lawless today (the Depression-era shoot-em-up movie starring Shia and Tom Hardy), and it was actually pretty good. It wasn't a deep movie, but I didn't go in expecting one. It also wasn't a horrifically dark movie. It was hard and gritty, but had some nice character moments. I adored Tom Hardy's character, even if he had horrible mushmouth (which I'm pretty sure was on purpose to emphasize his culture of small-town-country) and wore a Cosby sweater through THE ENTIRE MOVIE. (I wasn't mad, he made it very attractive.) The violent parts were the best parts, but I always love violent movies soooo, take of that what you will. Jessica Chastain remains flawless. Shia remains someone who I can never decide if I like or want to punch in the face.

Hello, f-list!

True story, my bestie is coming to seeeee meeeee! I've known her for eight or nine years, talked to her everyday for at least six, and have never met her in real life. She's COMING TO ST. LOUIS, THOUGH. Just to see me. It's gonna be amazing. And awkward. Mostly amazing. I don't know what we're going to do or see while she's here, St. Louis is mainly a sports town, but we have museums and stuff (I've been to all but the contemporary art museum, it's closed for installation of new exhibits) but I take her anywhere! I'm so excited, people, it's ridiculous.

Also, apparently I have a thing for younger men. I don't know if I've told you all of Ben, but now...there is a Ben. He's younger than me by 5 years (I'm 25) and we're just talking right now but he's so very sweet and cute. It's just been a couple of times of talking, nothing formal, but I totally have a crush. A massive crush. I am playing it cool, though. Acting interested without being clingy. What's funny, though, is that my assistant manager accused me of being a "selfish" dater. Why? Because I don't care. She says that nothing comes of my coffee dates because I don't care enough. My reaction though, isn't that WHAT the coffee dates are for? Getting to know the other person so you can grow to care about them? Admittedly it probably takes longer me to make that connection than other people, but I'm not a jump-in-head-first kind of girl! *shrugs*

August 2nd, 2012

I have been bad with LJ lately, just poking my head in every once and a while.

I still adore you all, though!

Pretty Little Liars is killing me slowly. I need my Haleb back, desperately

Warehouse 13 is as awesome as ever, reminding me of how very entertaining it could be. Pete has the best lines on the show, no doubt about that.

Rookie Blue is still addictive. (I can't help it, I love Andy McNally! She's...a complete dork, but she's amazing.)

Suits is also the best show on television right now. Deal with it.

In personal news, I apparently have a thing for younger guys. Angel was a year younger and now I'm exchanging texts with a guy five years younger. (I DIDN'T KNOW IT WHEN WE STARTED. I FOUND OUT THROUGH FACEBOOK SPYING.) He's very sweet (very young). I'm pretty sure I'm going to break him into tiny little pieces. (It doesn't help that he describes 'church' as a hobby and stated that he found Jesus in high school. Anyone who knows me knows I have big issues with organized religion. So, yeah, this? This thing between us? Not going to end well.) (For real, I won't even eat at Chick-Fil-A anymore. I DO NOT LIKE HATE, PEOPLE. AND I LOVE CHICKEN. DAMN THEM.)

I leave you with music...

"Red Devil" is my favorite. I really do adore Noisetrade. Free albums by small indie artists. It's a great place to find new music.

July 4th, 2012

I am so very in love with Angel Snow right now. She has...a voice like...I don't know. It's smooth and clear and haunting and I could listen to it all night.

(I marathoned Rookie Blue this past week and am now obsessed with Sam/Andy and pretty much everyone on this show. When someone described it as "Grey's Anatomy, but with cops" they weren't lying. This is as addictive as early Grey's, pre-dead Denny. I almost wished I had more to catch up on, now I'm stuck in week-to-week limbo.)

June 24th, 2012

*dance, dance*

I am a bird in water, a whale on sand
I am the flood, the fire, the oil spill
I’m feeling scared and I am overwhelmed
And so I don my mask and finger bells

(I really want to know if Shara really records like that. Also, can I be her when I grow up?)

June 23rd, 2012


Doctor Who-colors of the rainbow.
I am writing.

That is all.

June 18th, 2012


Peep-Troian in red.
I have arrived here just to say...

I have caught up on Avatar: Legend of Korra.

I am hardcore shipping Iroh/Korra. Do not ask me why. I do not know.


June 6th, 2012

Everyday, by Mike McGee

Red-Riding Hood
Everyday I rewrite her name across my ribcage
so that those who wish to break my heart
will know who to answer to later
She has no idea that I’ve taught my tongue to make pennies,
and every time our mouths are to meet
I will slip coins to the back of her throat and make wishes

I wish
that someday
my head on her belly might be like home
like doubt to doubt resuscitation
because time is supposed to mean more than skin
She doesn’t know that I have taught my arms to close around her clocks
so they can withstand the fallout from her Autumn

She is so explosive,
volcanoes watch her and learn
terrorists want to strap her to their chests
because she is a cause worth dying for
Maybe someday
time will teach me to pick up her pieces
put her back together
and remind her to click her heels
but she doesn’t need a wizard to tell her that I was here all along

let us catch the next tornado home
let us plant cantaloupe trees in our backyard
then maybe together we will realize that we don’t like cantaloupe
and they don’t grow on trees
we can laugh about it
then we can plant things we’ve never heard of

I’ve never heard of a woman
who can make flawed look so beautiful
the way you do

The word smitten is to how I feel about you
what a kiss is to romance
so maybe my lips to yours could be the penance to this confession
because I am the only one preaching your defunct religion
sitting alone at your altar, praising you out of faith

I cannot do this hard-knock life alone
You are all the softness a rock dreams of being
the mistakes the rain makes at picnics
when Mother Nature bears witness in much better places

So yes
I will gladly take on your ocean
just to swim beneath you
so I can kiss the bends of your knees
in appreciation for the work they do
keeping your head above water

May 14th, 2012


Peep-Troian in red.
A) My money shall be returned within the week. Thank gawd, I'm broke.

B) I am now the happy owner of Blood Ties season two! That's right, I gots BOTH seasons now. Oh, how I miss Henry Fitzroy. I MISS THEE. YOUR SMALL ROLE ON BEING HUMAN WAS NOT ENOUGH. NOT ENOUGH.


D) I fail at online life. Must FOCUS ON PROJECTS MORE.

E) I am watching The Almighty Johnsons, and it's pretty darn amusing. The Norse mythology makes me think some of you might like it, but it has a wide streak of human along with it. It's cute.

May 10th, 2012


Peep-Billie glows.
I dislike people. Very much.

Someone duplicated my debit card and emptied my account. To be fair, there was only $200 in there, but it's the POINT OF IT. I don't care if it was my bare minimum-bills are paid and now I wait for next round of paymoney to pay more-minimum, it's the ETHICS of it. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? Steal from rich people who aren't strangled by their paychecks. Don't steal from the little guy!

May 5th, 2012

*fangirl squee*

Doctor Who-colors of the rainbow.
I've never read an Avengers comic before, but after seeing the movie I really want to. BUT CAN I TRUST MARVEL? THEY'VE HURT ME SO MANY TIMES. I CAN'T TRUST THEM

Thoughts on the film...Collapse )
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